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Sending a first message

How to write a first message that refers to the person you are writing to.
A woman on a sofa, about to send a message on her phone.

Read her profile before you write. Mention one thing from it, and only one. "You said you walk the canal on Sundays. Is that a particular stretch?" is a message. "Hello, how are you?" gives her nothing to answer.

Say why you wrote, in a sentence, and ask one question that is easy to reply to. Keep it short enough to read on a phone without scrolling. A first message is an invitation to talk. It is not a biography, and it is not a comment on her body.

Do not open with a request for more photos, or a suggestion to move to WhatsApp. Those arrive from people who have not read the profile. Stay on Only Lesbians until you have a reason to be anywhere else. Why it is better to stay on the site is that reason, written out.

If she has said what she wants, answer that. If she has children and limited evenings, suggest a time that respects it. How long before you meet is the next step once you know the conversation is real. If she does not reply, one more note a few days later is enough, and then stop.

Create a free account to message someone on Only Lesbians.

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